By Matt Schneider, MA, LCMHCA

October 10 is World Mental Health Day, which is intended to bring global recognition to mental health. Yet, I’m reminded that despite half of the world being men, they seek mental health services far less than women. This brings to mind a recent commercial (ok, it was actually a TikTok!) where two doctors in an ER clinic are talking about a new client. One doctor says, “We have a farmer who came in for some back pain.” The other doctor asks, “Did his wife make him come in?” “No,” said the first doctor. “He came in voluntarily.” The second doctor calls his nurse in. “We have a farmer who voluntarily came in! Get the crash cart!”

I couldn’t help but think of the men I see on a regular basis, and how counseling and talking about their problems has helped them. Simultaneously, I wondered about how many men are silently suffering in their lives. According to one study in the UK, 40% of men have never talked to anyone about their mental health. The majority of men I see have a bit of reluctance to come to therapy. There is still a stigma against men seeking professional counseling. Perhaps you’ve heard or had one of these thoughts.

• “I am fine on my own and I don’t want someone else knowing my problems.”

• “I’m just a little frustrated right now but I’ll be fine.”

• “My family and friends would think I’m weak if they ever found out I sought counseling.”

• “Why would I want to use my time and effort talking about my feelings?”

• “What is the actual point of going to therapy? It seems pointless to rehash my thoughts to someone else.”

• I’ll go when things are REALLY bad!”

These are all common thoughts or concerns men have about seeking counseling. To help break the stigma, I’d like to share some of the things men have found beneficial in seeking counseling.

• A place to talk about irritability and anger

• A place to learn how moods can be changed through our behaviors, activities, relationship changes

• A place to unload burdens and share your reality with a trained professional

• A person to collaborate with to find solutions to behavioral and communication issues.

• To learn and implement new coping skills for stress, depression, and addictive behaviors

If you've ever thought about counseling and pushed away that thought, you are not alone. For any men reading this, therapy can be a helpful tool in your life if you allow it. We are here to walk with you through whatever situation or symptoms you're facing at your own pace. I remain hopeful that the stigma men face around talking about their mental health will begin to break in the future. People are hard-wired for connection and that is for men and women alike. I see that every day in my counseling work.