A Note to the Parent of a Child with ADHD
By Elyse Tavary, LCSWA
October is National ADHD Awareness Month. I believe this month should be celebrated with the highest of energy, because I want us to celebrate our kids with ADHD in that way. In light of this, I wanted to write a note to the parents of kids with ADHD.
Let me first and foremost say: you are not failing a parent. Parenting a child with ADHD is going to be different than parenting a child without it. I see how overwhelming it can feel. I see how it can feel as though people might blame your parenting, as your child may be getting deemed the “troublemaker” of the classroom. I know it can at times feel like you haven’t gone a day without an emotional outburst, and you don’t quite understand what set this one off. I see the many nights gone by trying to figure out what to do differently to help your child feel good about themselves and the world around them. If you have felt any of those things, please know that you are not alone and there is no shame in either you or your child needing support.
Here at Potter Counseling, I work closely with children and families, many of whom have kids with ADHD. Our work together centers on helping kids and their parents come to understand, learn, and feel empowered to work with their ADHD, not against it. Kids with ADHD can be big feelers, who feel big but also love big. They are often smart, creative, witty kids that can be delightful and goofy and are ready to do life at 110% energy. They are all curiosity and wonder and make us laugh and marvel at the world in different ways. This is how I see them.
It is also true that these same kids need support in areas like planning, organizing, controlling and regulating their emotions, learning from past mistakes, and transitioning between things. Simply put, they need help with their executive functioning skills, which is what ADHD primarily affects. Truthfully though, ADHD or not, all kids need support in some way or another.
When it comes to ADHD, there are so many helpful skills out there to help kids bridge the gaps in their executive functioning skills. We have fidgets and bands on chairs to help with focus and offer some movement. We can teach coping skills and emotional identification along with impulse control. We can use timers and charts to help with working memories and homework organization. Medication is often a huge help for some kids as well.
Please hear this: ADHD is not a large and dooming diagnosis, rather it is an explanation of behaviors and struggles that we are able to come alongside to support.
To the parent of a child with ADHD, please do not feel defeated. Ask for help when you need it, and know you are doing an incredible job. I want to remind you how extraordinary your child already is.
Join us in helping people understand and celebrate our kids with ADHD this month and always.
